Dear Summer Heat in Springtime,

I just finished mowing my lawn, and if you’ve paid any attention to my domicile, you already know how much I hate doing that (which is partly compounded by the fact I use a push mower, but my landscaping luddism is a separate issue…). Here in Portland, we take our mostly mild climate very seriously; any time the temperature dips below freezing or above 75 degrees the local television channels run wall-to-wall coverage on “Deep Freeze ’07” or “Scorcher!” Really. Look it up.

Need I remind you, though, that it’s still only May? There will be a full two months coming up soon when you’ll be keeping my electricity bill in triple digits. Or is that not enough for you?

Selfish summer, wait your turn already.  It stopped raining only like two days ago.  Give it at least another week, will ya?



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