Congrats! Your reward for tanking the season is the #5 draft pick in next month’s NBA draft.
No, you will not be drafting Greg Oden or Kevin Durant this year, just like you did not draft Tim Duncan when we went through this bullshit 10 years ago with Slick Rick. Neither of them will be walking through that door.
The irony, of course, is that I’m more likely to see one of them up close and personal before you are, because The JailBlazers here in Portland and The Stupor-Sonics a couple hours north in Seattle respectively landed those #1 and #2 picks you purposely went on the skids to acquire.
Take heart, though, because I still have a #1 pick for you:
For the love of God.